Are you a complainer?
Everyone complains at times but frequent complaining isn’t helpful to you or those around you.
Here are some tips to help you stop complaining:
Be aware- Being present and realizing that you are bothered or annoyed can be the first step in not complaining. When you catch yourself becoming annoyed with someone or a situation ask yourself what can I do to resolve this so I’m no longer bothered by it? Sometimes the easiest thing to do is just be aware that you’re annoyed and that you want to “vent” but instead make the conscious effort to let it go. In the grand scheme of things is whatever happened really worth being upset over?
Be grateful- Start noticing the positives in your life in general and the situation or person you want to complain about. Can’t find any positives in your annoying co-worker, try empathy. Start noticing the positives in your life and be grateful for them. This will help shift your mind from negativity and complaining to positivity and gratitude.
Be responsible- what is your part in whatever you complain about? If you are frequently complaining about your loved ones, have you had a conversation with him or her about what’s bothering you? Or if you have said something are you being true to your word? Let’s say you told your teenager that if he doesn’t keep his room clean for a certain amount of time or get a decent grade on his next Spanish test he won’t be going out with his friends next weekend. The weekend comes around and he got a D on the test, not because it was too difficult for him but because he didn’t study, but there’s something he really, really wants to do this weekend so you give in and let him go. Then you complain to your friends about how he got a D on his test and how he never studies as he should and how he talked you into letting him go out because he just doesn’t stop until he gets his way! The only person you should be annoyed at in this situation is yourself. Every time you want to complain about those close to you ask yourself, what is my part in this? What can I do differently so that I am not annoyed with this person or this situation?
Be open- Take pen to paper and write down whatever is bothering you. My suggestion here is that you just write without thinking about or censoring what comes out. Get all your grievances out of your mind and onto the paper. Once that is done you will be more open and receptive to coming up with solutions to your gripes or at the very least, letting them go. This is also helpful because rather than complaining to those around you, who either are tired of hearing about it or are going to annoy you because they didn’t give the response you thought they should, or who are actually going to encourage the negativity by complaining as well, you get your gripes out on paper and you’re able to let them go.
Sometimes our complaints and negativity are so engrained it takes more than the tips above to really change. Everything that happens to us is stored in our subconscious, so while making a conscious effort to change is necessary it is only a small part of the equation. According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, “Ninety-five percent of who you are by the time you’re 35 years old is a set of memorized behaviors, skills, emotional reactions, beliefs, perceptions, and attitudes that function like a subconscious automatic computer program. You can think positively all you want, but that 5% of your mind that’s conscious will feel as if it’s swimming upstream against the current of the other 95% of your mind- your unconscious body chemistry that has been remembering and memorizing whatever negativity you’ve been harboring for the past 35 tears; that’s the mind and body working in opposition.”
I have seen major life changes in myself and clients who have gone through Cellular release therapy and/or Cutting the ties that bind. Cellular release therapy can clear whatever negativity your body and subconscious mind have been holding onto, no matter what your age is.
Another profound therapy, Cutting the ties that bind, works in the subconscious to heal your inner child. According to Michael Sheridan, “Our parents may have done their best for us, but being human, could not help but pass on their hang-ups, weaknesses, and faults to us. At birth, we needed unconditional love and bonding with mother and acceptance and support from father. Failure on their part to provide these qualities can leave us emotionally disadvantaged and less able to cope with life. If they were repressed or inhibited we, by using them as role models may have copied their negative traits. Cutting the Ties enables you to identify the way you were affected by your parents and empowers you to free yourself and find your own identity.”
Both of these modalities bring deep, lasting change with not much effort. If you are interested in learning more about either one of these practices, contact me here or text me at 815-281-1077