Chances are pretty good that somewhere along the line you lost your voice. Most likely this happened as a child. Maybe your parents berated you when you spoke up or perhaps you were embarrassed by your peers for having a different opinion. At the time you did what you needed to do to survive, you lost your voice, you kept quiet and did your best to fit in. At the time this served you well, but it’s no longer serving you and it’s time to get your voice back!
Signs you have lost your voice:
#1 It’s really hard for you to say no when someone asks you to do something. Ask yourself the following questions: Why don’t I say no to people? What fears come up when I imagine myself saying no? How would my life improve if I stopped saying yes to things I really didn’t want to do? How can I start saying no?
If someone asks you to do something and you don’t want to but aren’t yet comfortable saying no, you can always say something like, let me check or let me think about that. That will buy you a little time and then as soon as you can tell them you can’t do whatever it is they asked you to do. You don’t owe them an explanation simply say I checked and I won’t be able to make it on Wednesday or thanks for thinking of me but I thought about it and that doesn’t sound like something I would be interested in..
#2. You find yourself saying that you don’t like confrontation. I don’t know how this phrase became an excuse that makes it okay to not say what you think and to not say what you mean. I’m not saying you have to pick fights or yell your opinion in the faces of anyone that thinks differently than you, not at all. But don’t use the excuse, “I don’t like confrontation” to let people walk over you or to keep quiet about things that are important to you. You have a voice, take your power back and start using it.
#3. You keep quiet when someone does or says something that upsets you, only to talk about them and what they did behind their back to everyone that will listen. If someone does something you don’t like whether it’s your spouse, a friend, coworker, family member, etc. say something. When you say something to the person and deal with it, you will find you can resolve it and get over the issue almost immediately. I find when we go the route of not saying something to the person we are upset with and instead talk about them and what they did the wound never heals. Just when it starts to get better, we bring the offense up to someone else and it grows and everything they do that annoys us causes the wound to grow until it’s a big gaping hole. What you reveal, you heal, find your voice and start communicating.
Comment below...In what ways can you start speaking up for yourself?